Knowing Your Worth

My buddy Bill C. has an awesome blog, The Dating Genius. Now being married, I obviously don’t need any dating advice, but I love reading his posts…an interesting commentary and very real slice of dating and relationships. When I inject my comments to his posts, I find myself repeating the same theme…Women need to know their worth. And we need to know it BEFORE we get into any relationship.

Many years ago, I saw what became one of my favorite “chick” movies, “The Joy Luck Club.” In it, one of the main characters was in the middle of a divorce.  She seemed like she was giving up without a fight, just allowing her husband to leave her without seeking any compensation for the time and effort she had put into the marriage. Although she had always viewed her mother as timid and old-fashioned, she soon learned that her mother had been through many difficult experiences as a child and, as a result of these experiences, had found her inner voice and refused to allow anyone to take advantage of her. She encouraged her daughter to do the same, telling her to “know your worth.” It was such a moving scene and those three words have always been with me, especially now having a daughter of my own.

One of the problems many women face is that they look for a man, their career, their children, their relationship/marriage, to define them.  But how can you let someone/something else define you? Especially when you’ve known YOU much longer than anyone else, right? We’re often taught to love ourselves, but we need to remember our worth – the value of our heart, mind, body and spirit. Knowing what you are worth is much bigger than just loving yourself. I can love my house, but if I don’t know how much equity I have or what the fair market value is, then I won’t know what price others will have to pay if they want it. The other day, I posted those three words on my Facebook page, and a friend responded with a question for the ladies, “How much am I worth? Am I on sale or foreclosure?” My response was:

Too many women are in foreclosure. They’ve been dealt bad blows, caught in sad and unfair situations. So they sell themselves as is and sight unseen to the first bidder, who is often someone unwilling and unable to at least offer fair market value. And those on sale have lowered their value just to get off the market.

Do you want to know your worth? Get in touch spiritually – the Manufacturer always sets the value of His creation!  Then walk in your worth- you can’t be worth fine wine when you walk around like cheap beer. And then SETTLE. FOR. NO. LESS than your worth!

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7 thoughts on “Knowing Your Worth

  1. Girl, you got some real wisdom going on right here! I don’t know what you do at your job, but I hope you have time and are inclined to have something for the women and/or youth of your church!! Sometimes, it takes a long time for a woman (or a man) to know their worth, and unfortunately, it doesn’t often come from the lessons we learn at church, but hopefully that is changing…keep it up girl, God is taking you places…

    • Thank you Rehnea! A few years ago, I started a group at the church called Sister Circle, a program where young adults mentor teen girls. We just need to catch them while they’re young and before the world starts giving them mixed messages about who they are.

  2. Absolutely right, Calandra! 🙂

    Women need to develop and cultivate their own internally-based self-esteem, otherwise, guys are going to see them coming, sell them the dream of achieving whatever women ask them for (marriage, love, etc), get what they want and then break north with no delay…. happens every day.

    • Bill I was thinking it would be nice for you to one day NOT have to warn the ladies about falling for the okie doke. But sadly, there will always be a need for The Dating Genius. The okie doke will always work for some dude, and your Big Willie Pockets video will ALWAYS be necessary and relevant!! LOL

  3. How is it that Mommy taught us the same lessons but, You Listened and I didn’t? Sure glad one of us Got It and can Share It. I told you recently–God Has Ordered Your Steps!!
    Happy Mother’s Day Sis.
    (Remember “Ego-Tripping”, ya dig?)
    Love Rene!!

  4. Pingback: “Five Things I Want my Children to Know by Age 10″ – The Mommie In My by Calandra Branch « MortarNBrique

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