“Five Things I Want my Children to Know by Age 10” – The Mommie In My by Calandra Branch


An Anti-Mother’s Day Tribute

I’m going to confess: I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day.  Hopefully it’s understandable given my mom died when I was nine (see my February tribute to her).  Because I was so young my memories of her are dim, so no Mother’s Day reflections of good times or loving tributes to the fabulous relationship we had.  It was the relationship a nine year-old had with her mom: often times great but sometimes a (hidden) rolling of eyes when she told me I couldn’t do something I wanted.

I’m not the only one who feels this way.  One of my best friends lost her mom 10 years ago after battling a long illness.  My friend was an adult so had many more years with her mother than I; you’d think she would definitely be the one who would celebrate Mother’s Day with fond memories.  The first Mother’s Day after her mom’s death, she called me to go to the mall to get her mind off of her grief.  As we walked through the mall we saw families in restaurants celebrating mom, store specials for Mother’s Day, moms and daughters walking with bags in hand.  Looking back, probably not the best place to go to try and forget Mother’s Day.  Over drinks, we formed the “Motherless Child Club” (motto: we’re not looking for new members) and decided we no longer liked Mother’s Day.

I thought my feelings would change when I became a mother but they didn’t.  They did mellow a little where I can tolerate it a little more, and yes the hand-made school cards are very cute keepsakes.  But when my husband asks “what do you want to do for Mother’s Day?” I just shrug and say “whatever”. Don’t get me wrong–I absolutely love being a mom.  But since my mom’s been gone over 20 years Mother’s Day brings me sadness instead of joy.  And it probably doesn’t help that my mother-in-law, to whom I became very close over the 14 years I knew her, also died in 2008.

My girlfriend hasn’t changed her opinion though.  I still call her to check in and cheer her up, and since she is a mother of a 5 year-old I acknowledge her honored position in life. Maybe both of our outlooks will change as our children get older and we are more than just “mommy”.  Maybe it’ll change when we’re also a friend, confidant and advisor to our kids. Maybe my opinion will change when I have the kind of relationship with Beverly that I’ve always wanted to have with my mom.

MortarNBrique – April 16, 2012

At the beginning of April, I announced that I was now a Contributor to online magazine MortarNBrique. I’m only three weeks in and already adding a new spin! My column, “The Mommie in Me,” will periodically feature spotlights of “Real Mommies,” interviews and guest blogs by other Mommies who approach motherhood with passion!

Please check out today’s column HERE – a guest post by Tina C. Hines, Life Transformation Specialist, Founder of For My Sister/Friends™, and Mommie!

By the way…if you are interested in being interviewed as a “Real Mommie,” please send an email to calandrabranch@gmail.com.

This and That This Week: MortarNBrique

ImageGood morning Team “This and That With Calandra”!!! Happy April! Welcome Spring!

I am excited to announce my newest project…Beginning TODAY, April 2, 2012, I am honored to be part of the MortarNBrique team! MortarNBrique, a wonderful blog co-founded by powerhouses Tonya Giddens and Jill Monroe, is “a collective group of experiences, telling our individual stories to a listening audience.” I will be contributing a weekly column entitled, “The Mommie in Me.” I am SO excited about this challenging assignment.

Please check out my first post HERE and don’t forget to subscribe to MortarNBrique! And thanks to all the supporters of This and That With Calandra. Without This and That, there would have been no Mommie in Me! I am ever grateful for such wonderful opportunities to write and share.

Smooches, Y’all!!